UPADTE: See Ya Later!

Hello, friends!

I know you haven’t heard from me in a long time… after another long break. I’m honestly not sure who’s still around, but hey! I appreciate it.

First update: You are now admiring my blue hair

It kinda looks black here, but under the right lighting I look like an anime character and it’s great.

Second update: I am really taking a big long break this time. A really, really long, possibly-forever break from blogging.

I’ve had a lot of fun blogging and sharing my ideas and lists and random thoughts with you guys, but it just isn’t something I’m enjoying any more. Not only that, but being November O’Malley just stopped being fun. This name is tied to a few leaps-and-falls, failures I’m grateful to have and to have learned from. Since I first started this blog in 2017, I have learned so much about not only myself but all of you! I’ve learned how to write articles, create compelling reviews, and how to pick myself back up again even when the chips are down.

I will never forget these lessons and I will take them with me on my new journey.

What is this new journey you may ask?

I am trying a new kind of writing – playwrighting!

I’m about halfway done with my very first draft, a musical about one of my favorite musicians of all time and how he navigates the overwhelming world of the 1970s London folk music scene – to tragic results.

Theatre to me has always been a special kind of magic, the near-miraculous ability to suspend disbelief, tug at heartstrings, and bring stories to life with little more than a few costumes and some music.

I am so excited to share this new step forward with you all, to sort of rise from the ashes of a few forgotten novellas to make something magic.

So here I am. Something new.

I am

Alanna O'Malley

And this isn’t “goodbye”. This is “catch you on the flip side” (which is what I say only when I want to achieve peak cringe so treasure this.)

Self-Care Month II: 30 Gifts To Give Yourself To Try And Stay Sane

Last May, I launched Self-Care Month, four weekly posts to help writers and creators feel better about themselves! And right now, I think we seriously need it.

One of my life philosophies – and one I try my very best to stick to – is that every day you should give yourself a gift. It doesn’t have to be big or extravagant, it doesn’t even have to cost money! But doing something small for yourself every day can go a long way.

Here are 30 ideas to get you through this month’s insanity:

  1. Treat yourself to half an hour with a mug of hot something (chocolate, tea, coffee, take your pick).
  2. Watch a nostalgic movie you haven’t seen in a while. I’m a huge advocate for early/mid 00s Disney Channel Movies.
  3. Eat a pastry! If it’s home-baked, you get the advantage of it being warm and fresh, if it’s store-bought well, hey. You got someone else to make it for you.
  4. Bake! See above.
  5. Listen to your favorite album of music all the way through from start to finish. Put on headphones or crank it over the speakers, close your eyes, and just listen.
  6. Listen to a guided meditation. Try not to fall asleep.
  7. Watch some trashy TV and with zero shame.
  8. Toast! It may seem silly, but science has proven that toasting your bread creates a chemical reaction that makes you happier. So toast your sandwich and enjoy the warm n’ crispy feelings.
  9. Chocolate, especially dark chocolate, has been proven to improve moods too.
  10. Hot cheese, too.
    (My man Babish made a recipe with all three!)
  11. Find a video game with low chances of dying and something pretty to look at. My favorites are Journey (where players anonymously help each other through puzzles – the soundtrack is sublime!), Everything (which is weird and existential but very chill), and any open-world game you like to explore.
  12. Try the Kind Words game/app on Steam! Send anonymous letters to other people around the world giving advice and encouragement when people need it the most.
    Note: this is not sponsored content, I just really like this game… thing
  13. Check out the Mom For a Minute subreddit, write a letter to a team of internet moms whenever you need a helping hand.
  14. Create a Pinterest board or ‘like’ a bunch of things on your online store (my Poshmark likes are just… a lot). You get the thrill of shopping without spending anything.
  15. Turn off your phone for just a little bit. Everything can wait.
    After work hours, of course.
  16. Treat yourself to a new (e)Book or read something on your shelf you’ve been meaning to.
  17. Try a tutorial from YouTube (or somewhere else online). There are some excellent art tutorials, baking tutorials, bookbinding tutorials… everything you could want really!
    NOTE: Please PLEASE be careful of your sourcing, many “tutorial” and “lifehack” videos are completely fabricated for views and may be harmful if tried at home. Although the videos of these fails are also excellent entertainment as well.
  18. Give yourself time to reflect and reminisce. Flip through old photos or read some of your old writing.
  19. Eat something you’re not supposed to. Just once! You know, as long as it won’t kill you or something.
  20. Watch a bad movie, something you can seriously laugh to.
  21. Clean up your space a little. It may seem like a chore more than a gift, but having a neater area is honestly one of the better things you can give to yourself.
  22. Order food out. Have someone else make your dinner. Just stay safe!
  23. Treat yourself to a mini spa night with whatever you have. Pull out those old lotions and such (as long as they haven’t expired of course!) and pamper yourself.
  24. Play a mindless, classic video game to let your brain unwind. Tetris is never the wrong choice.
  25. Take an extra-long shower or bath. Use some of those special-occasion soaps and shampoos, too!
  26. Light your favorite scented candle or incense for wile you work. Even something as little as a nice scent can really improve your mood.
  27. Reach out to an old friend you haven’t heard from in a while.
  28. Consequently, allow yourself to ignore the people you don’t want to talk to for a while. That’s okay too.
  29. Try a yoga video and stretch your quarantined booty – many studios are streaming now!
  30. Most of all let yourself be unabashedly, unashemedly, unconsciously, and totally happy. And apologize to no one!

Stay tuned for more self-care ideas this month, including the return of Schedenfruedoptimism!

I’m Fixing Star Wars, Everyone Stand Back

No matter how many memes you throw at it or the revisionist history of The Clone Wars series, the prequels were a HUGE mess, an almost unwatchable mess.

The prequels need to be fixed. And that’s what I’m going to do.

A Tale of Two Padawans

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You were my brother, Anakin! I loved you.

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

What We Have: The relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan is… fraught to say the least. They meet when Anakin is an annoying child and Obi-Wan is a teenager with an unfortunate haircut and by the time Episode II rolls around, Anakin is describing Obi-Wan as “like a father to [him].” Then Episode III overcorrects by trying to sell the “brotherly” angle and a little too hard. It just doesn’t work.

How We’re Fixing It: Make Anakin and Obi-Wan both padawans of Qui-Gon Jinn at the same time. I mean, Qui-Gon was already rebelling hard by taking on Anakin to begin with, having two padawans is just a small step up. Maybe it happens by necessity, with Anakin saving both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon on Tattoine as a teenager or young twentysomething.

Then, throughout the trilogy, we compare and contrast Obi-Wan and Anakin more closely and on the same level. When Qui-Gon dies (and midway through Episode I this time as an Act 2 turning point), Anakin explodes with rage while Obi-Wan shoves it down and internalizes his grief. They lock horns when Anakin believes Obi-Wan isn’t even grieving at all until the latter finally lashes out with exactly how much he’s hurting.

This moment defines their entire relationship throughout the trilogy and defines them as characters. And it makes the final confrontation sting.

Shut Your Political Pie-Hole

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I am the Senate

Emperor Palpatine, Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

What We Have: Meandering, hard-to-understand scenes about alien politics that are barely explained. How much power does a senator have? How do their powers coincide with that of local rulers? Is Padmé ever conflicted between her duties as a queen and her duty as a Senator? What role do the Jedi have in government? It was never exactly fully explained.

How We’re Fixing It: Take a look at the original trilogy. How much government fits into it? We see a little – the Grand Moffs (Moves?) discuss dissolving the senate in the first movie, Tattooine is held under martial law, and Darth Vader has to awkwardly answer to middle-management.

That’s exactly how much government should be in the prequels. No trade federation, no senate, no politically radical Jar Jar Binks. We, the audience, do not need to see how the Galactic Senate fell and became the Empire in microscopic minutia.

The movies should focus on only a few things: the fall of Anakin Skywalker, the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan, Anakin’s romance with Padmé, and sweet laser-sword battles.

SMH Anakin

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I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

Anakin Skywalker Episode II: Attack of the Clones

What We Have: Putting aside wooden acting and a clunky script and sand-hatred, let’s take a look at who Anakin Skywalker is as a person. He goes from gawkish socially awkward teen-slash-twentysomething to a homicidal maniac in movie-seconds. He might be an ace pilot and a genius inventor (somehow), he honestly doesn’t have much of a character and things just seem to happen around him.

How We’re Fixing It: The movies already might possibly imply the vaguest little idea of it, so let’s bring it to the forefront. Anakin is unusually strong in the Force and we’ve seen in the past that the Force can influence the mind of others. While we’d only seen it work on “the weak-minded”, is it that much of a leap to imagine a very, very strong Jedi being able to manipulate the mind of anyone?

Imagine it: Anakin is charming and friendly and seems to have a Mary Poppins-like ability to get what he wants. At first, it’s for the good of others, to help other people and to have a good time. Sometimes it might be a little selfish, he gets the best table for his and Padmé’s dates, he makes sure his speeder is well taken care of at the valet. But slowly, it becomes more horrifying.

Palpatine takes Anakin under his creepy cloak wing and teaches the Jedi that not only does he have this power, but he can control it willingly as opposed to the accidental uses before.

He manipulates government officials. He makes Obi-Wan agree with him. He orders Padmé to stop arguing and to say that she loves him. In fact, he may have been manipulating her into loving him since the beginning.

Over the course of the trilogy, we see the charismatic Ferris Bueller-like character become Jessica Jones‘s Killgrave.

That is how you build a villain. George Lucas, pay attention.

A Love Triangle (But You Know, If It Must Be Done)

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What We Have: What we have is an age-old question, “Why in the hey did Padmé go for tiny baby Anakin (awkward) when Ewan McGreggor is RIGHT THERE?!”

How We’re Fixing It: But if we apply the above point of her maybe being Force’d into loving Anakin, we have a good answer. But lest we forget that Padmé is Natalie Portman, one of the most beautiful actresses in our generation.

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Even if you shave her head!

What if a part of what tears apart Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship is that Obi-Wan is in love with Padmé too? And now that Anakin and Obi-Wan are around the same age, it’s less awkard.

He sees them together and thinks Anakin doesn’t deserve her. He finds out about the Force manipulation and he gets angry.

This is what leads to the final confrontation, THIS breaks them apart. Obi-Wan learns that he too was being manipulated the whole time and that Anakin had knowingly done it.

The finale is a crushing cavalcade of emotion, anger, betrayal, and yes.

Sweet Laser-Sword Battles.

Want More Star Wars?

Want More Of My Sweet Writing?

inter_linked The Series is the fun, sarcastic story of a girl and her android.

Follow the adventures of Anny and WISR as they try to help every robot they can, while the hardest part of the journey is putting up with each other.

Absolutely free to read:

Some Updates

Hello, friends and fans!

I’m sure a whole lot of you are wondering where the newest update of inter_linked The Series is!

Well, I’m taking a very quick start-of-the-year hiatus. I had a very sudden death in the family, lost my job, and a bunch of other stuff has come up in very quick succession and I just haven’t had time to catch up with my own life, let alone the fictional lives of these characters.

When will inter_linked The Series be back? I’m not 100% sure – probably March 1st! But I’ll definitely post another update before just to keep you lovely folks in the loop!

In the meantime…

Get caught up on the story thus far!

Don’t forget to like, comment, and most of all SHARE inter_linked The Series just absolutely everywhere! There are lots of people who have yet to experience the amazing adventures of Anny and WISR!

Stay tuned for more blog posts here on the November O’Malley site!

See you soon!


Robots Who Are Trying Their Best

Robots. In fiction, they range from homicidal to cute and they are incredibly smart machines who more often than not outwit us monkey-brained humans. But in real life? They have a lot of catching up to do.

But they’re trying just so hard.

Cereal Box Battle Bot

The Bot: “The Krave Monster” is like an angry kitten. An adorable cute little thing but also surprisingly dangerous and pointy. Just look at it masticate its enemies in its adorable, delicious maw! Aww!

Room For Improvement: In order to be considered a truly fearsome foe, it needs to find a much scarier look than bizarrely goopy cereal.

Rating: 7/10

The Heinz Automato57

The Bot: MIT’s follow-up to the seminal Catsup Crapper, the Heinz Automato57 offers automatic condiment dispensary with the talent and enthusiasum of a three-year-old. Even if you do manage to stop it before it makes your entire life resemble a sticky murder scene, all of your food ever is now an inedible mess.

Room For Improvement: Aim, for one. Control of application is certainly another. Not having terrifying chicken wing arms would also be a plus.

Rating: 2/10

The Breakfast Machine

The Bot: Don’t’cha just hate mornings? This robot is here to help! Even in your most hungover, apathetic, or lazy state, this cheerful little friend will pour you a bowl of cereal and even feed you, you clumsy ape!

Well, in theory, anyway. It tries and then drops the spoon like one would drop a mic after spitting a fire rhyme.

Room For Improvement: It’s great if you only want a shot of breakfast and not an entire bowl. So there’s that.

Rating: 1/10

Ben and Jerry’sBot

The Bot: After careful selection and entering of the keypad, and diligent work by the robot to retrieve your daily delights, BEHOLD! LID!

Room For Improvement: Unlike most of the robots on this list, it doesn’t suck enough.

Rating: 1/10


The Bot: Special Delivery! This robot is trying so hard to be organized and helpful but he does about as well as trying to arrange things in a game of Skyrim.

But he isn’t just a robot made to arrange things. He FEELS things too. And those things are despair.

Room For Improvement: This robot doesn’t need so much as more work in programming as much as emotional support. I hope someone gives him lots of hugs, even when he fails.

Rating: 9/10

Can’t get enough of adorable robots who are just trying to make their way in this crazy universe? Check this out!

inter_linked The Series is the fun, sarcastic story of a girl and her android.

Follow the adventures of Anny and WISR as they try to help every robot they can, while the hardest part of the journey is putting up with each other.

Absolutely free to read:

5 Hilarious and Terrible Foreign Covers of Familiar Books

1. A Game of Thrones – Russia

In the dark times before HBO/Starz/Showtime/Taco Bell/KFC/NASA told us what everyone looked like, bizarre fantasy book illustrations reigned supreme and this Russian cover for A Game of Thrones from the 90s is beautifully, horribly no exception.

Who even is that in the front? Arya? Joffrey with unfortunately-shaped armor that gives him ladylike curves? Is that supposed to be The Hound? Yoren protecting Arya from the Kingsguard? And who the heck is that ponce with a hat? Is that supposed to be a direwolf beside him because it looks like a husky with a mental deficiency.

Russia, you’re so strange.

2. Eragon – Italy

Apparently, Italy missed the memo that the first book is The Blue One and that it’s the second book, Eldest is The Red One but the confusion is understandable considering the dragon on the cover is name Saphira like sapphire like blue rock.

I’d also just like to point out that in the International Covers Gallery on his website, Christopher Paolini has pictures of his leather-bound copies of the series that look like they belong on your grandma’s bookshelf next to the 1984 edition of Encyclopedia Britannica.

3. The Hobbit – Sweden


Being such an older and ubiquitous book, there were lots of weird foreign editions to choose from but this one is just beautifully bizarre.

I like to call this “Ten Year Old Bilbo Takes a Power Nap” because, I mean, just look at it. Between the nightcap and the youthful, cartoony face beneath it there’s just a lot here that makes no sense, up to and including the battle axe. Sting? More like Smash! Maybe they confused him with Tyrion for a hot minute.

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This action figure deserves its own article.

4. The Catcher In The Rye – Arabic

The Catcher in the Rye cover Arabic by دار المدى للطباعة والنشر والتوزيع

The original cover of The Catcher In The Rye is already kinda out there with its terrifying carousel Pale Horse Of Death thing going on (I still have nightmares of the giant poster in my freshman year English classroom), this one is. Um. It’s there.

Some other covers play up the hat or just go full abstract, but this one… this one looks like the kind of project I’d make in the third grade when we had to design new covers to go with our book reports. It certainly gives Holden Caulfield a reason to be so depressed and obnoxious. Just look at that hairline, you’d be whiny too!

5. Harry Potter – Korea/Japan

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No, it’s not technically a cover, but it’s too amusing not to share.

I recently discovered in my adventures in NYC’s Koreatown that Harry Potter is actually split up into smaller, easier-to-carry novella-sized volumes since small books are much more popular there.

While it must be nicer to carry than the massive tree-chunks that were the later books, that means that the entire series is broken up into 23 volumes.

In Japan, there are only 19 books, much more convenient!

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Special Mentions go to:

Harry Potter and the Cooky Art Teacher Vibes


Harry Potter and the Alarming Reminder That He’s WAY Too Young To Be Putting His Life In Danger Like This
(He Should Be Worrying More About Pokemon Cards Or Something)


Harry Potter and I Have No Idea What Is Happening Here


Harry Potter and Have They Ever Seen A Train Before, That Might Be the Ocarina Of Time?


Harry Potter and The Only Things Still Clean on Laundry Day


Harry Potter and IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE UMBRIDGE THEY DID NOT NEED TO MAKE HER WORSE and Also Why Are There Two Harry’s and Hermione Is Now Part House Elf Now, Cool and Everyone Is Wearing Ravenclaw Colors There’s So Much Wrong With This Help

(For f&@(‘s sake, Finland!)

And Finally:

Harry Potter and I’d Like To Point Out That Snake Has a Face


If you love my writing with all its snarky sarcasm and hilarious commentary (if I might toot my own horn for a moment) you’d love inter_linked the Series, a serialized novel about friendship, sarcasm, and robots.

Anny messed up. Big time. Now she’s stuck with WISR, the most bitter and sarcastic android every programmed. Now they travel the stars, trying to save every robot they can – if they don’t kill each other first!

It’s free to read on www.interlinkedtheseries.com with updates every Monday and Friday.
Patrons read a day early!

Read More:

Read It and Weep Re-Read
4 Books That Are Just Un-Film-Able (and How to Pull It Off Anyway)
I Read a Bunch of Star Wars Novelizations So You Don’t Have to (Part 1)
I Read a Bunch of Star Wars Novelizations So You Don’t Have to (Part 2, Rogue One)
Steven Universe: The Movie: The Review

New Year, New Adventures

Hello, everyone!

After taking a brief break from the world, I am ready to get going, go do it (whatever ‘it’ may be), and rock out.

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It’s been a year of a lot of ups and downs, but on the whole I think it’s been a net positive, there were a lot of great things that happened to to me, so despite the not-so-great things, I’m looking forward to the future.

Some of the Good Stuff:

  • I finally published my serialized novel inter_linked the Series which has been an amazing and wild ride. I finished the entire manuscript basically within the year and got it up and running about two months ago and I am super excited to be able to share the world of Anny, WISR, and the zany robots they meet with you.
    Big huge special thanks to the spectacular people who have supported me along this madcap journey, especially including: M.T, M.V., W.H., J.K., the lovely and talented R.C., The Artist Currently Known as Plaid, an Other of Significance Who Would Appreciate Not Being Named, and Mom. Dad too!
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I don’t know what this thing is, but man is it adorable!
  • I started a new job working on trains, which has been weird and exciting both! In the past eight months, I’ve learned how to say words like ballast and consist and track alignment like I’m a Person Who Knows Things. Heck, I almost do Know Things! Rad!
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  • I have an Other of Some Significance! They would rather I not go into detail publicly, but we’re celebrating our first anniversary this January and I wouldn’t be where I am today without their love and support. Here’s to another year, love!
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  • I started taking better care of my mental health. This has been an absolutely crazy journey of self-discovery and I learned so much about myself this year alone. I took some huge tests, tried a bunch of colorful pills (some of them were even prescribed! okay, all of them were, don’t @ me) and I’m learning how to better take care of myself and my brain. It’s been really eye-opening and I’m looking forward to putting all this new knowledge to good use in the coming year.
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Some of the Lame Stuff:

  • Unfortunately, my wonderful (if a little stressful) job in the rail industry came to an end which made me very sad. I am less than happy to leave behind the fantastic people I worked with and the project I adored but hey. That’s the life of contract work.
    If you know anyone in the NYC area looking for a writer, illustrator, photoshop expert, or just cheery and friendly (and highly skilled!) administrative assistant, you know where to find me!
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  • I sort of hibernated this year, turning from a social butterfly back into a flobberworm in my downy duvet nest of Not Being Around People. Which is okay, it means I finished a manuscript in a year and bounced around online writing communities a bunch, which ruled. But I’m starting to miss the outside world again. I hear the new “green” edition is coming out soon!
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2020 Vision

(because I’m the first person ever to make this joke ever aren’t I so clever)

  • inter_linked the Series will return Monday, January 6th! Stay tuned for more sarcasm, more friendship, and best of all MORE ROBOTS!
    Don’t forget that my lovely and wonderful patrons (like W.H. and M.T. whose monetary support has purchased several beers!) get lots of free goodies like exclusive content and reading chapters a day early!
    Feel free to join your fellow fans on our Discord as well!
  • I’ve started a bullet journal! Don’t tell my parents who bought me a bunch of paper already for Decemberween, but I definitely got myself a dotted journal and $50 worth of washi tapes and stickers and I’m trying to get a setup I like going.
    It’s been very overwhelming and I see a lot of ideas I want to try and do (and I might do a flip-through video in a bit to show you my progress!) and it makes my ADHD-addled brain squish in hyperactive bounciness so I spell ‘February’ wrong a lot, but hey. All a part of the journey!
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  • I’m writing a musical! The title hasn’t come to me yet, but it’s about Nick Drake, a musician from the 70s who died very young and under mysterious circumstances. No clue when it’ll be finished because I’ve never written anything like this before (not seriously anyway) but my goal is to have it shown somewhere publicly by 2021, the 50th anniversary of Nick’s final album, “Pink Moon”.
    I highly recommend his music for rainy days, chilly days, and days where you just want to curl up and feel a little sad.

    Other Projects That Might Be In the Works Maybe:
  • An indie movie about a family who can only express their feelings through music.
  • This idea I had of teaching an AI my writing style by feeding it everything I’ve ever written ever (we’re talking 7th grade awkward fanfiction here) and then getting it to do a full novel manuscript and submitting it around to actual publishers and see if it can get published and then I’ll go on This American Life and be famous for five minutes.

And thank YOU so much, dear reader, for A. Making it this far and B. Sticking with me this year.

May the next one be even better and brighter!

“Read It And Weep” Re-Read

Read it and Weep is peak DCOM (Disney Channel Original Movie, for those who never experienced this magic). It has the best of somewhere-in-Canada-or-California-Suburbia sets, not-bad-but-not-great acting, and a ridiculous concept that could only be dreamt up by a mouse-brained maniac.

In this film, a high-school aged girl, Jamie, “accidentally” publishes her personal diaries (thanks to some dubious direction from Mom) which becomes a mega blockbuster bestseller.

While I’d love to delve into the intricacies of the Hallmark movie level filmmaking, fabulously iffy writing, or… whatever it is she’s wearing here:


What I will be reviewing today is the accuracy of how they portray the world writing and publishing.

While I may be only a self-published author (read inter_linked The Series – it’s free!) I’ve done a lot of research on publishing and done a little querying on my own, not to mention reading just about every entry in Query Shark and very briefly interning at an agency. So I’m almost an expert.

Here we go:

For Reals

Sometimes Your Characters Will Talk to You and No, They Don’t Shut Up

One of the main elements of Read It and Weep is that Jamie and her wish-fulfillment character Isabella, or “Is”, are played by sisters Kay and Danielle Panabaker and they snip and sass and argue with each other constantly.

This is basically what a day in the life of a writer is. Getting into real actual out loud fights with these imaginary people until they tell you what they want to say.

Being An Author Is Just a Ton Of Work

Jamie is seen doing book signing after endless book signings, TV appearances, and just a load of parties rife with schmoozing and being friendly to annoying executives.

Being an author these days is a LOT of work. Most authors – even those with “Big Five” publishing houses! – have to do their own promotional work, schedule their own signings, and then are sent on lengthy book tours. Sorry, Jamie. This is just how it goes.

Backlash Is Inevitable

When everyone finds out what Jamie wrote, they are instantly mad at her, harassing her in school, vandalizing her author events, and making her life generally just kind of miserable.

While I can’t personally say that I’ve gotten any backlash for my books – aside from a few choice comments on my opinion on video games – but that’s really common, especially when writing directly about people you know.

Life protip: Do NOT do this. Do not write about your teachers or your parents or your friends or even places in your hometown. There will always be someone who be upset, and it’s generally pretty uncool. Even if you’re saying nice things, being put up on a pedestal isn’t exactly somewhere you want to be.
You can probably sneak in your dog, though. Dogs have no shame when it comes to flattery and can’t write angry tweets with their lack of opposable thumbs.

This is the face of 7/10 reviews and double-quadruple starred reviews

As You Wish

“Is Saves the World” (the in-universe, megabestseller novel) is wish fulfillment. Any time Is comes across something daunting, dangerous, or something she just doesn’t like, she ZAPs away the problem and all is perfect and fine.

While this may seem unrealistic and short on anything resembling a plot, think about Twilight. Ender’s Game. Ready Player One. Or just about any book you can think of. They’re power fantasies, stories of ordinary people who rose above to become extraordinary. And these stories sell.

Even give the movie itself a think, what is it actually about? A teenage girl getting something every teenage girl dreams about: attention, power, stardom, to be heard. The movie in itself is a power fantasy, and I definitely had high hopes for becoming a blockbuster writer at 14 after this film!

For Shame

Secret Agents

Photo by Mohammad Danish on Pexels.com

The plot kicks off when a mysterious “they” finds out about Jamie’s contest-winning essay (which turned out to be several hundred pages of her illustrated diaries that somehow also got printed in the school newspaper which I guess kids care about now). The publishing company only gets mentioned once offhandedly and Jamie has a “handler” for her PR events and photoshoots.

In real life, 90% of books are discovered by “querying”, or writing a very specific letter to an agent. If that agent likes your letter, they will request a “partial”, or a part of your manuscript to read, or a “full request” which is the entire thing, and that’s pretty rare.

After that, your book gets shopped around to editors, publishers, and sometimes even other agents in the same house if they have a relationship with a publisher who might be interested.

Honestly, I think that would make a much more interesting story – at least to me. The story of how Jamie’s very personal words get twisted around to be this monster of a “bestseller”, how something “zappy” that caught the hearts and minds of a small town becomes the bland, vanilla, formulaic blah that will end up on the 50% off table at Barnes and Noble within a month.

But maybe I was the only tween who enjoyed rants about the finer points of the Oxford Comma.

Name in the Game

Let’s not forget the fact that Jamie is a minor. She’s 15 or 16 at most. Young enough that she couldn’t sign her own contracts (which is horrifying when you think about it, her parents pretty much signed her up for this harassment and mistreatment by her peers, way to go.)

So the fact that she doesn’t write under a pseudonym or even her initials – which many female authors do to begin with – is baffling.

Sure, the folks of her hometown know exactly who she is and what she’s written, that’s inevitable. But consider that we know for a fact that this is the mid-early days of the internet. Someone could easily Google her name and come up with her phone number and home address.

Sure, it might have taken some convincing to get herself to pick something that’s not Selene Lunesta Maximillion McAllisterCrowley, but it would be worth it. Not using a nom de plume, especially that young, is just asking for trouble.

It Also Has No Plot, Just Saying

Is comes across a big bad monster who is also the big bad cheerleader of her school. Is ZAPs the monster away. Is wins. Is gets the boy. Yay.

If you’ve paid even the smallest modicum of attention to this film, you’ll notice that this is basically the “plot” of the entire book, the Not Oprah interviewing Jamie even says so. (Her meltdown on that show would land her on “Top 10 Celebrity Freakouts” lists for at least a decade to come).

Were this the real world, a developmental editor would have sat her down and showed her a three-act structure chart from ‘go’, if her manuscript even got a partial request to begin with. There’s no way this kind of thing would fly, even in a Middle Grade novel.

Final Thoughts

Read It And Weep is not a bad movie, just wildly inaccurate. Authors do not end up on TRL, have to put in a lot more work, and “Is Saves The World” probably wouldn’t get very far on its own merits.

But I love this movie. It’s the most mid-00s film ever made (she has a tablet PC with a touch screen, but not her own blog for crispysakes!)

This may look cool and modern, but that computer ways 20lbs, minimum

But it has a special place in my nostalgic little heart.

Have you seen this film or watched it after this breakdown?
What did you think?
Leave me a comment below!

inter_linked The Series is the fun, sarcastic story of a girl and her android.

Follow the adventures of Anny and WISR as they try to help every robot they can, while the hardest part of the journey is putting up with each other.

Absolutely free to read:

All photos copyright Disney unless otherwise stated, used for review purposes only. Please don’t sue, I don’t have any money because I’m a self-published author.


For those of us who don’t watch a bunch of space movies just to yell at the inaccuracies, before flinging random things into space, everyone has to vote: GO or NO GO.

So if Michael Bay has taught me anything, it’s that when a meteor is plummeting towards earth, you are creating the most epic PowerPoint presentation of your life, and it’s also Halloween, there’s no such thing as NO GO.

You put on a kicking soundtrack and get s^$*%& done.

So I am pleased to announce that I haven’t slept in approximately three weeks, I think something’s on fire, it’s Halloween, I’m inexplicably listening to Aerosmith,


This is it friends and fans. We’re here. It’s happening. This is real life (probably).

And it’s all thanks to YOU.

My friends who I bothered for opinions and ideas, my beta readers for helping corral my runway sentences, my family for listening to me talking about it at every holiday with minimal eye rolling, my first Patrons who have made me more money on my writing than I have ever earned ever (sixes of dollars!) and my supporters on Twitter for cheering me on.

I couldn’t have done it without you.

So what are you waiting for?!

Get reading!