Robots. In fiction, they range from homicidal to cute and they are incredibly smart machines who more often than not outwit us monkey-brained humans. But in real life? They have a lot of catching up to do.
But they’re trying just so hard.
Cereal Box Battle Bot
The Bot: “The Krave Monster” is like an angry kitten. An adorable cute little thing but also surprisingly dangerous and pointy. Just look at it masticate its enemies in its adorable, delicious maw! Aww!
Room For Improvement: In order to be considered a truly fearsome foe, it needs to find a much scarier look than bizarrely goopy cereal.
The Heinz Automato57
The Bot: MIT’s follow-up to the seminal Catsup Crapper, the Heinz Automato57 offers automatic condiment dispensary with the talent and enthusiasum of a three-year-old. Even if you do manage to stop it before it makes your entire life resemble a sticky murder scene, all of your food ever is now an inedible mess.
Room For Improvement: Aim, for one. Control of application is certainly another. Not having terrifying chicken wing arms would also be a plus.
The Breakfast Machine
The Bot: Don’t’cha just hate mornings? This robot is here to help! Even in your most hungover, apathetic, or lazy state, this cheerful little friend will pour you a bowl of cereal and even feed you, you clumsy ape!
Well, in theory, anyway. It tries and then drops the spoon like one would drop a mic after spitting a fire rhyme.
Room For Improvement: It’s great if you only want a shot of breakfast and not an entire bowl. So there’s that.
Ben and Jerry’sBot
The Bot: After careful selection and entering of the keypad, and diligent work by the robot to retrieve your daily delights, BEHOLD! LID!
Room For Improvement: Unlike most of the robots on this list, it doesn’t suck enough.
The Bot: Special Delivery! This robot is trying so hard to be organized and helpful but he does about as well as trying to arrange things in a game of Skyrim.
But he isn’t just a robot made to arrange things. He FEELS things too. And those things are despair.
Room For Improvement: This robot doesn’t need so much as more work in programming as much as emotional support. I hope someone gives him lots of hugs, even when he fails.